Support & Services for Mental Health Awareness Week 18 -24 May
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU
A long time ago, in galaxy far, far away …actually it’s about here and now.
I couldn’t resist using Star Wars one of my favourite films and franchises.I have wanted to write about some of the observations and reflections I have about people’s behaviour during the pandemic. I wasn’t sure what to title it or how to actual phrase some of the ideas as they were forming but I think a thread has developed so here goes.
I am currently reading The 8th Habit by Stephen Covey. It’s a book that I have had for over 15 years (as you know I am a Covey and Habits fan), but had not been able to get traction into this books till now. A quote near of the beginning of the book worth contemplating is:
ALL THAT IS NECESSARY FOR THE TRIUMPH OF EVIL IS THAT GOOD MEN DO NOTHING - Edmund Burke
TOGETHER IN ISOLATION
Together in Isolation
Finding Certainty in Uncertain Times :
Living during Coronavirus pandemic
Dedicated to every beings happiness on the UNs International Day of Happiness March 20th.
Shaileen Shah - Happiness Coach - Happy Life Habits
I started this blog article as a refreshing relish from the recent weeks of brain fog clouded by confusion, worry, uncertainty, anxiety, fear, helplessness and distraction. Anyone else felt the same?
HAPPIER RELATIONSHIPS PART2
This article contains some of the ideas shared at the Happier Relationship Part 2 workshop that Happy Life Habits delivered on 28 February 2020 at Shri Chandana Vidyapeeth (SCVP London) Jain School. It is a follow to Happier Relationships Part 1 which should be read and watched first.
HAPPIER RELATIONSHIPS
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Happy New Year! See the year starts with Happy so be happy. I have recently gone through a year end review using a wonderful tool called the year end compass. I wrote about it last year when I first discovered it. This year I was able to spend a bit more time going through it more thoroughly to reflect on last year and to consider themes for this year. I found the process really enjoyable, useful and contemplative. I spread it over a few days as opposed to doing in one sitting. It allowed me to remember and savour the happy moments, absorb and accept the sadder moments, consider the things learnt and really appreciate the opportunities and moments of joy experienced. With that I gratefully thank all who have supported me on this journey; be it words of encouragement, coming to or sharing about workshops, investing in a happiness journal or two and encouraging others to do so also; creating opportunities for me to share at groups, communities and companies or reading this blog . Thank You.
A few questions from the year end compass:
What is the wisest decision I have made…?
The biggest risk I took …?
The biggest surprise of the year…?
The most important thing I did for others…?
Who are the three people who influenced you the most?
What are the the people you influenced the most?
Plus many more.
Then there are sections to look forward to this this year which included:
This year I will no longer procrastinate any more on…
This year I will be bravest when…
This year will be special for me because…
Take a moment to consider your answers to the questions .
I created a worksheet with some of these questions for the class I teach of 14-15 year olds at Veerayatan SCVP Jain School. It is part of work we are doing in sharing life skills with Habits and The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers being the focus. Will be interesting to see how it goes. Really enjoying researching, think about and developing the content to share.
The 3rd Monday in January is known as Blue Monday, a day when many people feel low or more depressed due to various factors. Last year I wrote about Blue Monday. Again my friends at the Museum of Happiness are hosting a Winter Happiness Festival on Sunday 19th January 2020 to coincide with Blue Monday. I am volunteering there, I have enjoyed the previous 2 festivals.
Speakers include:
Clinical psychologist Dr Shelley Kerr of Balanced Minds, who will share the science of self-compassion and offer practical tools and techniques to give you full permission to be kinder to yourself
Best-selling author and behavioural change expert Shahroo Izadi will share how self-kindness is the key to changing unwanted habits, and how to make meaningful sustained changes in any area of your life
Former contributing editor of Ethical Performance Magazine Adam Woodhall of Extinction Rebellion will motivate and inspire us on how to be kinder to animals and the planet
Founder of I am Circle Nina Bubamara will conclude with a reflective session to connect and reflect more deeply, champion our creative expression and individuality, and set strong intentions to take action for a happier, kinder world.
We’ll close with a loving kindness meditation for the world and some ecstatic dance to shake off what no longer serves you.
This is a fundraiser to help the museum continue to do the fantastic work it does. Details here if you want to get tickets.
On February 14th (Valentines Day) and February 28th, both Fridays I will be sharing workshops on Happier Relationships at Veerayatan SCVP Jain School in NW London. These sessions are free and open to all.
Resources
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About the Author
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
THE SECRET TO LONG LASTING HAPPINESS
Let me share with you the secret to long lasting happiness. It is … Gratitude. Thank goodness for gratitude! It is my favourite and niche Happiness habit and has immensely helped me many times through life’s challenges. Gratitude is the practice of counting our blessings for what we already have in our lives. For being thankful with what we have.
THE INEVITABLE - DEATH, THE END OF LIVING
“Life and time are the two best teachers. Life teaches us to make good use of time and time teaches us the value of life”. Over the last few years I have been attending more prayer meetings and funerals for family members, friends parents and wider community members. Each time it is a stark reminder of how short life is, not to waste time on the mundane and to do the things that matter. Also each time I am often at a loss on how best to respond, what to say and how to provide some support and solace despite deep feelings of empathy and compassion. Each time it makes me reflect on my ageing parents and in-laws and ultimately on my own life and mortality.
Leadership is an act and not a position - event with Nick Williams
Leadership is an act and not a position
This is written with personal insights on leadership as well as from the Shishukunj Bethak with Nick Williams on 26th September 2019 where six core ideas were shared on Be Inspired. Be Inspiring. Be Yourself. Includes recording of the event and slides..
During the December of 2000 I was in leadership role as President of the Young Jains charity organisation and had travelled to India on holiday. I remember distinctly seeing a poster in a shop that resonated with me and had a lasting impact. The poster had a quote which read:
Leadership is an act not a position.
This message really hit home and stuck with me.
The first habit in one of my favourite books, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Dr Stephen Covey is the habit “Be Proactive”, this is about leadership and being responsible.
The book also explains the difference between management and leadership using a ladder metaphor.
Management is about making progress up the ladder whether that ladder is career, relationships, business, learning, purpose or personal growth. Leadership is about making sure the ladder is leaning against the right wall - your mission, values, purpose, goals.
Leadership is about doing the right things and management about doing things right.
Other books that I have read on leadership are Covey’s “Principle Centred Leadership”, Robin Sharma’s “The Leader With No Title” and “Dare - Accepting the Challenge of Trusting Leadership” by Scott Weiss. All great reads.
The focus of the Shishukunj event was on Spiritual Leadership. After greeting with Namaste, we reminded everyone that the greeting means we are bowing to the higher self, reminding us we are a Soul.
Most Shishukunj events start with the prayer “ Aasatyo Mahati….”, my interpretation and translation (which is not fully correct I am sure but works for me) of this is :
Dear Lord, lead me from what is not true to the truth,
Dear Lord, lead me from darkness to the light,
Lead me from death to peace,
Lead me to Divinity
Nick Williams an author, coach, thought leader, past director of Alternative and has spirituality at the heart of everything he does as he shares about inspiration, creativity, leadership and challenges such as resistance to these. September 2019 is the celebration of 20 years of his first of many books, the classic book “The Work We We Born To Do”. He is a humble, creative, discipline, devoted , grateful and inspiring individual. The event related to his latest book “Be Inspired. Be Inspiring, Be Yourself”. Some of the ideas that were shared were:
Offering Leadership Vs Leadership as a position where offering leadership is steeped in love and leadership as a position is often driven from fear.
It takes courage to show up
Best leaders have been on a journey of self leadership and lead with empathy and compassion. Self leadership is authentic, powerful and professional
Leadership is about drawing the best out in yourself and help others to do the same
“We are the ones we have been waiting for”
Primary purpose of leadership is to inspire
Inspiration has a different quality to motivation
Six core ideas:
Assume your best qualities, gifts and abilities are already within you. Some are already manifest, many remain dormant are are waiting to be drawn forth. They do pre-exist so it less about self improvement and more about self cultivation. Always an invitation to blossom.
Seek to be inspired and inspiring, come from a place of personal inspiration at least some of the time. Stoke the fires of inspiration, source of inspiration never goes away. What will inspire you next? The most power relationship: Being a willing collaborator. Whatis your next chapter? How will you inspire yourself next?
Understand that inspiration has an “evil twin” that is called resistance. Resistance - all our ego’s petty responses to the amazing power, ideas and creative impulse of your Soul.
Make friends with your vulnerability. Become comfortable with your discomfort. As we step outside the comfort zone we grow.
Show Up! Even in small but bold and brave ways. The world is poorer when our resistance wins. It is about sharing the light with others and not taking the spotlight.
Commission yourself. Initiate. Take responsibility.
What are your next steps of being an inspired leader? We are all leaders whether we have a leadership position or not as we may have roles of parent, family head, team lead, teacher, community leader and world citizen.
If you would like signed copies of Nick’s books get in touch.
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The next one will be about my recent crisis of being a victim of identity theft fraud, losing more than 7 figures, how I resolved and steps to protect yourself.
Added Value Resources
The recording of the event.
The slides used at event.
Here is a TED talk I love about every day leadership
About the Author
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
Invitation to Shishukunj Bethak with Author and Coach Nick Williams
I am fortunate to be helping organise the next Shishukunj Bethak on 26th September 2019 where Nick Williams will be the speaker. Nick is a friend, I have read some of his books including his first “The Work We Were Born to Do” and the latest “Be Inspired. Be Inspiring. Be Yourself”, they are great. He brings a wealth of experience and a authentic, caring approach, The event is free, registration required and details are below.
NAMASTE,
“Be Inspired. Be Inspiring. Be Yourself.”
Spiritual Leadership - enabling the best in yourself and others. Nick Williams is a best-selling author, leadership coach and mentor.
FREE insightful talk on Thursday 26th September 2019 at Shishukunj Bhavan at 25-27 High Street Edgware Middx HA8 7EE
at 8:30pm - 10:00pm
We have tended to think that in order to offer leadership, you need to have a position of leadership, or someone needs to appoint, anoint or vote for you. But today, leadership can simply be a choice you make in any moment. We can all offer inspired leadership by following our call to lead, and don’t need a formal position of leadership. We can be“ordinary” and still offer inspired leadership.
Inspired leadership is about helping to transform a thought system based on fear to one based on love and inspiration. In this very practical event, Nick will help you explore the next chapter of how you show up in your inspired leadership.
Nick is best selling author of over 16 books including the inaugural "The Work we are born to". He has been heart of the Alternatives programme for 21 years, and co-leading it for 3 years; hosting events for Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer; etc.
The bethaks are open to all. Please confirm your attendance by email to Laxmiben at
bethaks@shishukunj.org.uk.
If you do not wish to receive emails about Bethaks, kindly inform me and with your permission will remove you.
there is ‘NO’ Bethak in October.
START YOUR YEAR END REVIEW NOW
Many people in December do a end of year review to reflect on the past 12 months. They go through their calendar, diary, journal and memories to reflect and capture aspects from the year. There is a great free tool called the year compass that can help with this process available from yearcompass.com/gb. The process can be insightful, heartwarming, provide learning and growth. Instead of waiting till the end of the year to do it why not do one at the end of each month, This has the advantage of making the end of year process quicker and smoother, less chance of missing things and the benefit of getting a good feeling as you savour and reflect at the end of the month and the opportunity to savour each following month.
One way to do it is to copy some of the items from the yearcompass into a word document or google sheet and title with the chosen month then add to it each month end.
Things to consider for inclusion are:
What did I achieve this month?
What were insights I gained?
What did I learn?
What am I grateful for?
What was challenging and how did I deal with it?
Who helped me?
Who did I help?
What could I have done better?
What am I looking forward to this coming month?
The YearCompass breaks it down into a few categories which include:
Personal Life & Family
Belongings
Friends, community
Intellectual
Finances
Work, Studies, Profession
Relaxation, Hobbies, Creativity
Heath, Fitness
Emotional, Spiritual
Bucket List
This is an expansion of the 4 human dimensions of : Physical, Mental, Social/Emotional and Spiritual.
YearCompass gives opportunity to consider the time period in six sentences such as :”The wisest decision I made…”. and six questions such as “What is the best thing you have discovered about yourself?”.
There is much more to the review doc than shared here, however, hopefully this gives you a feel.
Enjoy reviewing and reflecting