Is you life too busy, boring or bland? If yes, read on, focus on self-renewal and energy management making your life beautiful by prioritising how you use your energy, time and attention to engage in activities that help you flourish, thrive, have zest and engagement to feel fully alive.
The year 1994 was a defining year in my life. I was just reflecting and realised that 2024 marks 30 years since I started my personal development and growth journey.
In the story of Jesus’ birth there are three kings who come bearing gifts. In Charles Dickens’ The Christmas Carol there are 4 ghosts who visit Ebeneezer Scrooge. His business partner Jacob Marley and the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future.
On 11th Dec 2020 our world changed when my father suddenly passed (https://www.happylifehabits.co.uk/news/2020/12/24/live-love-learn-amp-legacy) away within 36 hours. He was the primary carer for my mum. We had the gifts and ghosts of : Old age, Grief, Loneliness, Parkinsons and Dementia. That was part of our inheritance.
Without those gifts and ghosts this article would not be written, published and shared.
As time goes by the probability that someone close to you will be impacted by dementia is increasing.
“One of the hardest things in life is to know that you can not stop the decline as you witness firsthand the diminishing cognitive capacity of a loved one due to progressive incurable neurological conditions such as Parkinson’s or Dementia.
To observe them becoming a shadow of themselves day by day; the impact on their physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual wellbeing. Knowing there is nothing you can do to stop that decline. Experiencing the loss each day as anticipatory grief.”
Shaileen Shah - Carer, Happy Life Habits Coach, Speaker and Trainer.
This article is about my role as a carer for my mum who is elderly, grieving, lonely and suffering from the progressive and incurable neurological conditions of both Parkinson’s and Dementia. It shares the perspective of the carer, the challenges faced, how best to look after yourself as well as how to look after and interact with someone who has these conditions or someone you are caring for.
I salute all those who are carers of any type and ask you to support those who you know who are doing a caring role.
The blog was not planned. The fantastic Mel Robbins video The World Needs Your Light prompted a thread connecting various content. The essence is about being the light, shining our light. This is by living and expressing our virtues, qualities and values. The World Values Day and the Book Club help by recognising the values and virtues that are important to us, how we become Heroic in expressing them each day to be our best and contribute to positively serving the world.
For those who have joined the book club or ordered the book from Happy Life Habits watch this video on the Heroic 7 Objectives to get a sense of what the book is about and how we use it to be our Heroic Self.
In addition to being a coach, speaker and trainer, I am now also an author of the ebook, “Every Day Happiness”.
‘Every Day Happiness’ provides understanding, tools and habits we can utilise to navigate a world with rising uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity. This increase makes more demands on our Physical, Mental, Emotional, Social and Spiritual Wellbeing. Everyday Happiness is a nonfiction book written for professionals, business owners, leaders and managers reminding them to choose to put Happiness and Positive Emotions at the heart of everything they do. Thereby they will have better happiness, mental and emotional wellbeing, productivity and life satisfaction in all areas of their life.
Gratitude is my superpower. When I am immersed in the feeling of gratitude I come alive, have hope, optimism, see some many possibilities, am creative and very productive. My whole energy is different - feel very positive, connected and grounded.
Gratitude is my Superpower
7 THINGS THAT AFFECT YOUR VIBRATORY FREQUENCY FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF QUANTUM PHYSICS
What are your Superpowers?
Thanksgiving
Inner Compass Good Life
Outstanding Black Friday Offer
During the month we celebrate Thanksgiving, Happy Life Habits (HLH) is crowdfunding via the Mayor of London’s Pay it Forward crowdfunding platform. If we reach our funding target and other criteria we will get some extra funding towards the work we do of “Positively Impact Happiness & Well-being Levels” through free or low cost, high value services and products that have helped many, maybe even you.
https://payitforward.london.gov.uk/hlh-sharing-positivity-resilience
The theme of death and loss is back in my awareness. Over the months we have explored it in Young Jains Enriching Conversations. Many friends, family and people in the community over the last 2 weeks have lost a close loved one. I shared with them an article I wrote last year upon the death of a close friend, Bobby Shah, on 15th October. The article has my thoughts feelings and also some resources that may help. Since originally writing it almost exactly a year ago I have shared it with many and edited to include a wonderful podcast from commune. Really do check out the article and resources - share with those who you may know are dealing with the loss of a loved one.
I write this on the eve of turning 50. What to say? These birthday celebrations are way different from what we had in mind last year or even at the beginning of this year. We were making plans to have family from USA and Kenya come visit during the summer and arrange a few get togethers with both sides of the families - both in terms of mine and my wife’s as well as both in terms of my dad’s and mum’s side. This is a lot of people. The celebrations would be for my son turning 16, completing GCSE exams and me turning 50. With the pandemic issue we can’t have more than 6 people meet.
I remember before I turned 24, I had just started my first real job and career out of university. I was a junior consultant in a US based technology consulting firm. I had been to Cambridge, Massachusetts for month long orientation training. During one weekend we had driven to New York, the Big Apple. I was then back in the UK working on projects, work then had become quieter in the UK. During September they shipped a few of out to projects in the USA. I ended up in Lansing, Michigan for a good few weeks. One weekend we took off to Lake Michigan - more like am ocean than a lake. I ended up spending my birthday weekend driving with a friend to Toronto, Canada where he had his family. I was away from family and friends. Being with my friend and his family was fine but I felt alone and did not enjoy that birthday experience. I enjoy being around people, especially family and friends and I enjoy celebration birthdays. Happy Birthday - I has HAPPY in the phrase and it has Birth - Life, so a Happiness Coach calling his company Happy Life Habits loves celebrating birthdays be they his own or others.
I was reminded by Facebook of a post from a few years ago which is a real treasure and I share here which share the difference between a contact and connection.
A Monk of the RamaKrishna Mission was being interviewed by a journalist from NY.
Journalist - "Sir, in your last lecture, you told us about Jogajog (contact) & Sanjog (connection). It's really confusing. Can you explain ? "
The Monk smiled and apparently deviating from the question asked the journalist:
"Are you from New York?"
Journalist - "Yeh..."
Monk - "Who are there at home?”
The Journalist felt that the Monk was trying to avoid answering his question since this was a very personal and unwarranted question. Yet the journalist said: “Mother has expired. Father is there. Three brothers and one sister. All married..."
The Monk, with a smile on his face, asked again: “Do you talk to your father?"
The journalist looked visibly annoyed...
The Monk - “When did you talk to him last?"
The journalist, supressing his annoyance said: "May be a month ago."
The Monk: “Do you brothers and sisters meet often? When did you meet last as a family gathering?"
At this point, sweat appeared on the forehead of the journalist. Now who was conducting the interview, the Monk or the Journalist? It seemed that the Monk was interviewing the Journalist.
With a sigh, the Journalist said: “We met last at Christmas two years ago."
The Monk: “How many days did you all stay together ?"
The Journalist (wiping the sweat on his brow) said: “Three days..."
Monk: "How much time did you spend with your Father, sitting right beside him?"
The journalist looking perplexed and embarrassed and started scribbling something on a paper...
The Monk: "Did you have breakfast, lunch or dinner together? Did you ask how he was? Did you ask how his days are passing after your mother's death?"
Drops of tears coming out started to flow from the eyes of the journalist.
The Monk held the hand of the journalist and said: “Don't be embarrassed, upset or sad. I am sorry if I have hurt you unknowingly... But this is basically the answer to your question about "contact and connection (Jogajog and Sanjog)". You have 'contact' with your father but you don't have 'connection' with him. You are not connected to him. Connection is between heart and heart... sitting together, sharing meals and caring for each other ; touching, shaking hands, having eye contact, spending some time together...You brothers and sisters have 'contact' but you have no 'connection' with each other...."
The journalist wiped his eyes and said: "Thanks for teaching me a fine and unforgettable lesson"
This is the reality today. Whether at home or in the society everybody has lots of contacts but there is no connection. No communication... Everybody is in his or her own world.
Let us not maintain just "contacts" but let us remain "connected"; caring, sharing and spending time with all our dear ones.
*****
The Monk was none other than Swami Vivekananda
There are many people who have come into my life, there are many mistakes made, lessons learned, many inspirers, many joyous moments and continue to do so. Some of these lessons relate to a few themes.
We have 3 main relationships or connections:
with our self
with others
with our higher self, nature, universe, God
The Happy Life Habits logo is all about connection, it is a connected pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
The below quote was share on HLH Community group when within a few days we developed the HLH Book Club. Thanks Mary T for inspiring it.
“‘Time is our most precious resource. We should not waste it. If it fits with my mission, serves, feels right, positively impacts, makes me smile, adds to the greater good, enthuses and inspires me and have the opportunity to be with wonderful like minded people - why wait? ”
I am hoping to share sessions on this in 2021
return wonderful returns when developed - they are all about connection.
“Our life is made up of a series of moments. We live moment to moment. The more happy moments we can have and create the happier our life will be. ”
All the current Happy Life Habit projects and activities relate to these themes : The Happiness Boosters, The Gratitude Workshop, The Gratitude and Journal Habit Immersion Course, The HLH Book Club and the newly launched Inspiration Point. I look forward to connecting with you and being part of the Happy Life Habits Community with you.
Many thanks to all the attendees, participants, partners, supporters and sponsors.
With Love, Warmth, Gratitude and Kindness
Shaileen Shah - The Happiness Coach - 50 Years Old - still got a long way to go.
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
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(3) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
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Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
This and the few related articles are about the golden opportunity we have for learning, change growth, development and transformation. Moving from a caterpillar to being in a cocoon to become a butterfly. They blend ideas and snippets on needs, mindsets, zones and actions from Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins, Abraham Maslow, Carol Dweck, Nelson Mandela, Robin Sharma, Forrest Gump and a few others.
This one looks at the idea of a Lockdown Lab and moving from a zone of fear to learning to growth and to contribution.
A fun, interactive, small group, online / in person Happiness Booster that lifts the mood, energy & connection. Designed to support Mental, Emotional, Social Wellbeing & Positive Growth Mindsets. Scientific proven practices (e.g. Gratitude, Mindfulness, Kindness ).
Book this for you team, Department, Clients, Networking / Community / Charity Group
Team building, Wellbeing Days, Mental Health Days. Offsites, Ice Breaker, Orientations, Retreats, Conferences
For each referral you give that leads to a booking we will reward you with the option of: A Happiness Journal or 10% off Happy Life Habits Training courses/workshops or 45 min 1:2:1 coaching session.
AN OPPORTUNITY TO RELAX, REFRESH & RECONNECT YOUR MIND, BODY & SOUL
Invest in your self-renewal at our retreats designed to re-energise, refresh and rejuvenate your wellbeing whilst connecting with like-minded people for an unforgettably meaningful experience in a beautiful countryside setting.
The retreat offers sessions to practice breathwork, meditation/mindfulness, movement, gratitude, journaling & more.
Group life coaching workshops for Self Renewal and Energy Management
Share open hearted discussions & conversations.
This and the few related articles are about the golden opportunity we have for learning, change growth, development and transformation. Moving from a caterpillar to being in a cocoon to become a butterfly. They blend ideas and snippets on needs, mindsets, zones and actions from Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins, Abraham Maslow, Carol Dweck, Nelson Mandela, Robin Sharma, Forrest Gump and a few others.
This one is about fixed and growth mindsets, comfort zones, support and challenge.
This article (is on stimulus/response and needs) and a few articles are about the golden opportunity we have for learning, change growth, development and transformation. Moving from a caterpillar to being in a cocoon to become a butterfly. They blend ideas and snippets on needs, mindsets, zones and actions from Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins, Abraham Maslow, Carol Dweck, Nelson Mandela, Robin Sharma, Forrest Gump and a few others.
Many people in December do a end of year review to reflect on the past 12 months. They go through their calendar, diary, journal and memories to reflect and capture aspects from the year. There is a great free tool called the year compass that can help with this process available from yearcompass.com/gb. The process can be insightful, heartwarming, provide learning and growth. Instead of waiting till the end of the year to do it why not do one at the end of each month, This has the advantage of making the end of year process quicker and smoother, less chance of missing things and the benefit of getting a good feeling as you savour and reflect at the end of the month and the opportunity to savour each following month.
One way to do it is to copy some of the items from the yearcompass into a word document or google sheet and title with the chosen month then add to it each month end.
Things to consider for inclusion are:
What did I achieve this month?
What were insights I gained?
What did I learn?
What am I grateful for?
What was challenging and how did I deal with it?
Who helped me?
Who did I help?
What could I have done better?
What am I looking forward to this coming month?
The YearCompass breaks it down into a few categories which include:
Personal Life & Family
Belongings
Friends, community
Intellectual
Finances
Work, Studies, Profession
Relaxation, Hobbies, Creativity
Heath, Fitness
Emotional, Spiritual
Bucket List
This is an expansion of the 4 human dimensions of : Physical, Mental, Social/Emotional and Spiritual.
YearCompass gives opportunity to consider the time period in six sentences such as :”The wisest decision I made…”. and six questions such as “What is the best thing you have discovered about yourself?”.
There is much more to the review doc than shared here, however, hopefully this gives you a feel.
Enjoy reviewing and reflecting
Habits run our life.
They can serve us or dis-empower us. They can be 40% of our behaviour in any given day. We can have bad habits or good habits. Cultivate good, positive habits that serve and empower you.
By definition a habit is “An action or decision repeated and repeated till automatic”. It is moving from the conscious mind to the subconscious.
![[SH]IT HAPPENS!](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bf7c05589c1727b3aaa05e1/1587829020997-62MPZXRFEYQ0ZXHWE5LJ/Stimulus+and+response.jpg)