“Life and time are the two best teachers. Life teaches us to make good use of time and time teaches us the value of life”. Over the last few years I have been attending more prayer meetings and funerals for family members, friends parents and wider community members. Each time it is a stark reminder of how short life is, not to waste time on the mundane and to do the things that matter. Also each time I am often at a loss on how best to respond, what to say and how to provide some support and solace despite deep feelings of empathy and compassion. Each time it makes me reflect on my ageing parents and in-laws and ultimately on my own life and mortality.
Leadership is an act and not a position - event with Nick Williams
Leadership is an act and not a position
This is written with personal insights on leadership as well as from the Shishukunj Bethak with Nick Williams on 26th September 2019 where six core ideas were shared on Be Inspired. Be Inspiring. Be Yourself. Includes recording of the event and slides..
During the December of 2000 I was in leadership role as President of the Young Jains charity organisation and had travelled to India on holiday. I remember distinctly seeing a poster in a shop that resonated with me and had a lasting impact. The poster had a quote which read:
Leadership is an act not a position.
This message really hit home and stuck with me.
The first habit in one of my favourite books, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Dr Stephen Covey is the habit “Be Proactive”, this is about leadership and being responsible.
The book also explains the difference between management and leadership using a ladder metaphor.
Management is about making progress up the ladder whether that ladder is career, relationships, business, learning, purpose or personal growth. Leadership is about making sure the ladder is leaning against the right wall - your mission, values, purpose, goals.
Leadership is about doing the right things and management about doing things right.
Other books that I have read on leadership are Covey’s “Principle Centred Leadership”, Robin Sharma’s “The Leader With No Title” and “Dare - Accepting the Challenge of Trusting Leadership” by Scott Weiss. All great reads.
The focus of the Shishukunj event was on Spiritual Leadership. After greeting with Namaste, we reminded everyone that the greeting means we are bowing to the higher self, reminding us we are a Soul.
Most Shishukunj events start with the prayer “ Aasatyo Mahati….”, my interpretation and translation (which is not fully correct I am sure but works for me) of this is :
Dear Lord, lead me from what is not true to the truth,
Dear Lord, lead me from darkness to the light,
Lead me from death to peace,
Lead me to Divinity
Nick Williams an author, coach, thought leader, past director of Alternative and has spirituality at the heart of everything he does as he shares about inspiration, creativity, leadership and challenges such as resistance to these. September 2019 is the celebration of 20 years of his first of many books, the classic book “The Work We We Born To Do”. He is a humble, creative, discipline, devoted , grateful and inspiring individual. The event related to his latest book “Be Inspired. Be Inspiring, Be Yourself”. Some of the ideas that were shared were:
Offering Leadership Vs Leadership as a position where offering leadership is steeped in love and leadership as a position is often driven from fear.
It takes courage to show up
Best leaders have been on a journey of self leadership and lead with empathy and compassion. Self leadership is authentic, powerful and professional
Leadership is about drawing the best out in yourself and help others to do the same
“We are the ones we have been waiting for”
Primary purpose of leadership is to inspire
Inspiration has a different quality to motivation
Six core ideas:
Assume your best qualities, gifts and abilities are already within you. Some are already manifest, many remain dormant are are waiting to be drawn forth. They do pre-exist so it less about self improvement and more about self cultivation. Always an invitation to blossom.
Seek to be inspired and inspiring, come from a place of personal inspiration at least some of the time. Stoke the fires of inspiration, source of inspiration never goes away. What will inspire you next? The most power relationship: Being a willing collaborator. Whatis your next chapter? How will you inspire yourself next?
Understand that inspiration has an “evil twin” that is called resistance. Resistance - all our ego’s petty responses to the amazing power, ideas and creative impulse of your Soul.
Make friends with your vulnerability. Become comfortable with your discomfort. As we step outside the comfort zone we grow.
Show Up! Even in small but bold and brave ways. The world is poorer when our resistance wins. It is about sharing the light with others and not taking the spotlight.
Commission yourself. Initiate. Take responsibility.
What are your next steps of being an inspired leader? We are all leaders whether we have a leadership position or not as we may have roles of parent, family head, team lead, teacher, community leader and world citizen.
If you would like signed copies of Nick’s books get in touch.
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The next one will be about my recent crisis of being a victim of identity theft fraud, losing more than 7 figures, how I resolved and steps to protect yourself.
Added Value Resources
The recording of the event.
The slides used at event.
Here is a TED talk I love about every day leadership
About the Author
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
WHAT’S MY PURPOSE? WHY AM I HERE?
(This article was commissioned for the Young Jains Magazine on the theme of Purpose Summer 2019)
These questions and other related ones are what many of us ponder and ask ourselves at various points in our life. Some find answers and begin living their purpose, others keep searching and some stop asking or never asked.
Why be Happy, Healthy, Wealthy and Wise?
This article was written for the Oshwal Health and Care Fair Brochure as part of the Oshwal Health and Care Fair in June 2019 where Happy Life Habits had a talk on Stress and Resilience.
Why be Happy, Healthy, Wealthy and Wise?
Recently I read
“You only live once. That is incorrect! You die once but you get to live every day.”
Invitation to Shishukunj Bethak with Author and Coach Nick Williams
I am fortunate to be helping organise the next Shishukunj Bethak on 26th September 2019 where Nick Williams will be the speaker. Nick is a friend, I have read some of his books including his first “The Work We Were Born to Do” and the latest “Be Inspired. Be Inspiring. Be Yourself”, they are great. He brings a wealth of experience and a authentic, caring approach, The event is free, registration required and details are below.
NAMASTE,
“Be Inspired. Be Inspiring. Be Yourself.”
Spiritual Leadership - enabling the best in yourself and others. Nick Williams is a best-selling author, leadership coach and mentor.
FREE insightful talk on Thursday 26th September 2019 at Shishukunj Bhavan at 25-27 High Street Edgware Middx HA8 7EE
at 8:30pm - 10:00pm
We have tended to think that in order to offer leadership, you need to have a position of leadership, or someone needs to appoint, anoint or vote for you. But today, leadership can simply be a choice you make in any moment. We can all offer inspired leadership by following our call to lead, and don’t need a formal position of leadership. We can be“ordinary” and still offer inspired leadership.
Inspired leadership is about helping to transform a thought system based on fear to one based on love and inspiration. In this very practical event, Nick will help you explore the next chapter of how you show up in your inspired leadership.
Nick is best selling author of over 16 books including the inaugural "The Work we are born to". He has been heart of the Alternatives programme for 21 years, and co-leading it for 3 years; hosting events for Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer; etc.
The bethaks are open to all. Please confirm your attendance by email to Laxmiben at
bethaks@shishukunj.org.uk.
If you do not wish to receive emails about Bethaks, kindly inform me and with your permission will remove you.
there is ‘NO’ Bethak in October.
Inspired Mindful Moments During Taxing Times
I had not planned to write this blog but had an inspired mindful moment. Today is the last day of the current tax year. I remember a quote I had seen when I was younger.
Born Free, but taxed to death!
Tax, money, work, health, parents, kids, family, relationships, traffic, Brexit or lack off can all cause us stress. Stress in itself is not a bad thing, it is the body’s coping mechanism to deal with perceived threat and help us survive. The problem occurs when we have constant stress which are greater than our capacity to deal with them. Fortunately we can nurture, practice and develop coping systems that increase our capacity to deal with and bounce back. This is known as resilience. Happy Habits such as mindfulness and gratitude help build our resilience, perspective, ability to cope and find solutions.
Over the next month and bit I am fortunate to take part in various events where I can share about stress, resilience, mindfulness and happiness.Some are free public events and some are ticketed events. Details are below.
4th May “The Resilient Dentist” : Oshwal Dental Group
14 May “Mental Health Awareness: Habits for Happy Mental Health” : GLL Better Finchley Lido
30 May “Mental Health Awareness: Habits for Happy Mental Health” : Shishukunj
02 June “Journey from Stress to Happiness”: Oshwal Health and Care Fair : Oshwal Centre
In June I will be hosting an online 21 Day Mindfulness Challenge
If you are coming to any of the events let me know, would love to say hi.
I have capacity to share more and would love to do more events. So If you have opportunities at your work place or group let me know, especially for Mental Health Awareness, Resilience or Well Being.
International Day of Happiness
Have a Happy day celebrating The International Day of Happiness. Smile. Think of something you are grateful for. What good things happened to you today. Practice a mindful moment. Do a random act of kindness. Sign up to the Happy Life Habits newsletter.
Happy Life Habits supports the UNs Sustainable Development Goals.
https://www.happylifehabits.co.uk/business-for-good/
BUSINESS FOR GOOD MAKING A DIFFERENCE IS A WIN- WIN
Having recently sent gratitude emails to clients who have purchased products or services to thank them for helping make a difference in someone else’s life by supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals was very heartwarming. Seeing the impact we are making is terrific. This is a business for good, not just creating financial profits but more about making a positive impact in making the world better. This is good karma.
START YOUR YEAR END REVIEW NOW
Many people in December do a end of year review to reflect on the past 12 months. They go through their calendar, diary, journal and memories to reflect and capture aspects from the year. There is a great free tool called the year compass that can help with this process available from yearcompass.com/gb. The process can be insightful, heartwarming, provide learning and growth. Instead of waiting till the end of the year to do it why not do one at the end of each month, This has the advantage of making the end of year process quicker and smoother, less chance of missing things and the benefit of getting a good feeling as you savour and reflect at the end of the month and the opportunity to savour each following month.
One way to do it is to copy some of the items from the yearcompass into a word document or google sheet and title with the chosen month then add to it each month end.
Things to consider for inclusion are:
What did I achieve this month?
What were insights I gained?
What did I learn?
What am I grateful for?
What was challenging and how did I deal with it?
Who helped me?
Who did I help?
What could I have done better?
What am I looking forward to this coming month?
The YearCompass breaks it down into a few categories which include:
Personal Life & Family
Belongings
Friends, community
Intellectual
Finances
Work, Studies, Profession
Relaxation, Hobbies, Creativity
Heath, Fitness
Emotional, Spiritual
Bucket List
This is an expansion of the 4 human dimensions of : Physical, Mental, Social/Emotional and Spiritual.
YearCompass gives opportunity to consider the time period in six sentences such as :”The wisest decision I made…”. and six questions such as “What is the best thing you have discovered about yourself?”.
There is much more to the review doc than shared here, however, hopefully this gives you a feel.
Enjoy reviewing and reflecting
Happy Life Habits gets the golden ticket
Happy Life Habits has made it through the first round of the Entrepreneurial Barnet Competition 2019. We got given a golden ticket to the next round after a 2 minute pitch about the business and services. Next round is working on a business model canvas.
I've got the Blues on Blue Monday!
Today, the 3rd Monday in January is known as Blue Monday when many people feel at the lowest, depressed and unhappy. This is supposedly due to some factors occurring at a similar time which include Christmas being a fading memory, payday still a week away,January bills coming through, rest of the year still to go through, high hoped resolutions broken, cold, gloomy weather, government uncertainty on Brexit and such factors.
Ways to combat Blue Monday….
Realise that today is also a Super Red Moon not to be repeated for 10 years
Seeing the beauty of nature ( I saw a gaggle of geese fly in V formation overhead)
Write down 3 things that your are grateful for
Write down 3 things that would make today great
Write done 3 things you are looking forward to this year (family weddings, holiday, get together etc)
Take a moment to enjoy mindfulness and focus on your breathing, do a short body scan, a mindful walk or mindful eating
Read and share an inspiring quote e.g “Every day may not be a good day, but there is good in every day”
Read and share an inspiring story
Tell a joke
Laugh out loud for no reason
Call a friend, have chat
Get together for a coffee or meal with a friend or family member
Give a donation to a good cause (time or money)
Cuddle a dog
Do an act of kindness
Do 5 star jumps, some exercise
Attend the last day of Museum of Happiness, Winter Happiness Festival and take part in a Sound Bath
What are some of the ways you can think of ?
HAPPY HABITS FOR HAPPY LIFE
Habits run our life.
They can serve us or dis-empower us. They can be 40% of our behaviour in any given day. We can have bad habits or good habits. Cultivate good, positive habits that serve and empower you.
By definition a habit is “An action or decision repeated and repeated till automatic”. It is moving from the conscious mind to the subconscious.